C is for CARING

Hello you lovely bunch of cheeri-o's ;) See what I did there? Yeah, yeah okay! I know I'm not funny. After the past six weeks of hell, I'm finally feeling better. The doctors - at my request - drew my blood and tested for Vit D and Iron. I'm heavily anemic and deficiant in other area's - like brain power... no, not funny still? damn

 So, I'm feeling better, getting my happy smile back and getting on with my life. I'd almost completely forgotten that I had gotten that sick, except of course not really because it sort of haunts you, doesn't it? Anyhow, I'd almost forgotten, until an email from Socail Services popped up saying I'd been granted 10 hours of care a week. But I don't need them anymore, I'm not sick 

 But that my cherub is the trap, the underlying disability is still there and always will be. While everyone is glad I'm feeling better, there are some things as a wheelchair user I'm always  going to struggle with, and some things that my condition will always make harder So yes, I am feeling better and accepting the allocated care hours does not mean I'm a fraud, or that I'm lying. It's saying ''Yes I'm still disabled, and I do still need some help!'' 

Both my mother and the social services lady had to remind me of what I just said above, because I did feel as though I was taking services I no longer needed etc. But this isn't how to look at it. Lets look at an example:

cooking. 

When I was feeling super poorly, cooking just wasn't happening. The stairs weren't happening.
I could have used a carer to get the shopping for me, unload and put it away, get the food I wanted to prep out, prep the food and bring me it when it was done.  At the level of disability I was at during those six weeks, this would have been appropriate.

Cooking now:

standing is still difficult due to my pots, it causes me to get hot, tachycardic, dizzy, and faint. It also causes me pain and fatigue. I can minimize this by sitting on a stool, but there are things I can not easily reach and items I should never lift as my spine is damaged. At this level of my disability, a carer might stand in the kitchen with me, drive me to the super market, or help me unload the online shopping order. They might get things down from high shelves while I sit in my wheelchair or carry heavy things that put me at risk. This is still help needed and at the appropriate level. 

There are so many tasks, like this one, where I have been advised not to do certain tasks, or to ask for help with them. Me being me, I don't ask for help, and they're difficult to adapt. Having help from a care assistant/Personal Assistance, even if they simply help me batch make my meals so that I can reheat something far more nutritious then that's worth it.

So, if you're offered care, it's been assessed very thoughrouhly and you've been deemed worthy of needing it, at the level of on-going disability you will face; I urge you to accept the help you're offered, because you never know when you might need it!

All my love, 
Lex xox